Stop Trying to Control Your Birth. Start Trusting the One Who Already Does: Biblical Discernment of Birth Practices, Ep. 5
Hey mama, friend—welcome back. If you've been walking through this whole Biblical Discernment of Birth Practices series with me, thank you. Truly. We've asked some hard questions together these past few episodes, and today we're bringing it all home. This isn't a list of one more thing to get right in your birth prep. It's an invitation into freedom, and into trusting a God who is so much bigger, and so much more attentive to you, than you might remember on your hardest days.
🎧 Listen to the Episode
We've Covered a Lot Together
Over this series, we've looked underneath practices like yoga, hypnobirthing, acupuncture, and different birth ceremonies—practices that are often presented as completely harmless, or as something we can simply "Christianize." And we've asked some uncomfortable questions along the way: Where did this come from? What does it actually believe about reality, about us, and about God? What does participating in it produce in me over time?
I know this series has probably stirred up some discomfort. Maybe you've realized something you participated in wasn't as spiritually neutral as you once thought. Maybe you've had to rethink something you genuinely enjoyed. Or maybe you've been sitting here thinking, okay, if I can't put my confidence in these things, then what can I put my confidence in?
That's exactly where I want to go today.
What Are We Actually Looking For?
Underneath every birth practice we've discussed this series is a question worth asking honestly: what are we actually looking for when we reach for these things? It's not a problem that we want solutions for pain, or want to set ourselves up for success. It becomes a problem when we start looking to something other than God to give us what only God can ultimately give—control, security, power, relief from suffering, even certainty.
Habakkuk chapter 2 gives us a window into what happens when those good desires become disordered, warning against people who built their lives around unjust gain, violence, and idolatry—trusting in things that are ultimately powerless. Now, Habakkuk isn't talking about childbirth, but I think the heart issue he exposes is so relevant to how we approach birth prep. We are experts at taking good desires—security, peace, relief from suffering—and turning them into things we feel we must control or secure in our own strength.
But here's the thing I've had to learn, and maybe you need to hear it too: God never promised us control over our circumstances. He promised us Himself. That's a very different kind of security.
The Balance Between Preparation and Control
Something I've noticed as a birth worker is that both traditional medicine and alternative wellness practices offer an almost endless menu of approaches to healing and preparation. Some of it is genuinely good and wise. Some of it isn't. And honestly, a lot of it lives somewhere in between, where the real question isn't "is this a good or bad thing," but rather, "why am I reaching for this, and how much am I leaning on it?"
You can take something perfectly natural and pursue it in a way that reveals your heart is longing for control instead of God. That's the distinction we've circled this whole series. It was never about the practice itself—it's about the heart posture underneath it.
My prayer is that this series hasn't stirred up dread in you, like discernment is one more task on your birth prep checklist. I pray it's stirring up joy and peace, because inviting the Lord into your decision-making isn't a burden—it's an invitation to freedom. You get to stop carrying the exhausting weight of endless researching and second-guessing, and instead bring it all to a Father who already knows what's best for you and the baby He's entrusted to you.
If some of this series has left you feeling like you're missing out on something the world says you need, I understand that feeling. But what the world is offering you is only ever what the world has to offer—and God's ways are so much better, higher, and wiser than anything we could come up with ourselves. You're not missing out. You are choosing the better portion.
God-honoring birth prep doesn't mean we stop preparing. It means we keep learning, ask good questions, and make thoughtful decisions—while examining what we're trusting our preparation to accomplish. Are we stewarding well what God has given us, or are we quietly trying to guarantee an outcome? Those can look identical from the outside, but they are completely different postures of the heart.
What's Actually Behind These Practices?
Throughout this series, we've talked about practices rooted in spiritual systems outside of Scripture, and maybe you've wondered—is this actually spiritually dangerous? Is there anything really behind these practices?
Scripture gives us a nuanced picture. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 8 that an idol is nothing, and there's only one true God. But he also tells us in 1 Corinthians 10 that what pagans sacrifice, they're actually offering to demons—not because the idol has divine power, but because there's a genuine spiritual reality behind idolatrous worship. Both things are true at once.
Christian discernment shouldn't make you paranoid—it should make you wise. There is a spiritual reality Scripture takes seriously, and there is deception. But if you belong to Christ, Jesus is not nervous about these powers, so you don't need to be either. Colossians tells us He disarmed the rulers and authorities and triumphed over them through the cross.
Deuteronomy 18 is one of the clearest places we see God warning His people against practices that would draw their hearts away from Him—not because He's withholding something good, but because He's protecting them from turning away from Him. So I don't want this series to become a list of Christian shoulds and shouldn'ts. The real question is: who are you looking to? Who are you trusting?
If You've Already Engaged With These Things
If you've realized during this series that you've participated in something you now want to walk away from, please hear me: this series is not meant to shame you. You don't need to panic over every decision you've ever made. That's not the gospel. If you belong to Christ, you belong to Christ—and when we confess, Scripture tells us He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If you need to repent of something, repent. But don't stay there beating yourself up. Run toward Christ. He's not standing at the other end of your repentance with crossed arms. He's calling you home with open arms.
📖A Scripture to Anchor You
So if we're not supposed to look to these practices for security or control, what are we supposed to do? Scripture says we simply ask God for wisdom.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." — James 1:5 (ESV)
I love that God's Word is this simple. That means you don't have to be paralyzed by fear of getting discernment wrong. You can come to your Father and say, "Lord, I don't know what to do—please give me the wisdom I need." If seeking the Lord for wisdom is new to you, start small. For me, that looks like praying while nursing early in the morning, or even while blow-drying my hair. It's a muscle—the more reps you get in, the stronger it becomes to hear His voice.
A God Big Enough to Hold Your Birth
Sometimes the reason it's hard to trust God with something as big as our birth is that our picture of Him has gotten small. One thing that helps me is meditating on the sheer size and glory of who He is.
Our sun could hold about a million Earths inside it, and it's actually considered small compared to other stars in the universe. Our galaxy alone holds hundreds of billions of stars, and there are hundreds of billions of galaxies. Isaiah tells us God brings out that whole host one by one and calls each star by name—not one is missing.
And then, at the cellular level, your body is carrying out an astonishing process—cells dividing, communicating, moving into exact formation, right on schedule. Psalm 139 says He knit you together in your mother's womb, and every one of your days was written before one of them came to be. Holding onto both the magnitude of who He is and the tiny details He's attentive to overwhelms me, and it leads me to worship.
And if God is genuinely this vast and this intimately caring, I think we sometimes forget who we're actually praying to. We can slip into treating God like a personal assistant, whose job is to bless our plans and deliver the outcome we've already decided is best. If that's you, I want to gently invite you to repent of that, as I'm learning to as well. God is not a resource for us to manage—and that's actually good news, because it means He's the One holding it all together. It's not up to us to figure it all out.
So many of the practices we've discussed this series reach for this same wonder—a life force flowing through everything, cosmic alignment, access to your body's hidden power. That fascination isn't wrong. Romans 1 tells us His invisible qualities have been clearly seen in what He's made, so being in awe of the cosmos or your own body is exactly how you were made to respond. The problem is when that wonder stops at the creation, instead of pointing us to the Creator. So when you feel that pull to worship the vastness of the universe, or wonder at what's forming inside you—don't suppress it. Follow it all the way up until it leads you to worship God Himself.
Bringing It All Home
Wherever you are—preparing for pregnancy, almost to your due date, or in the newborn season—your biggest concern is probably, "will my baby and I be okay?" I can't promise that preparing the "right" way guarantees a particular outcome. But this was never meant to be about controlling an outcome. It's about knowing who you're trusting. The same God who names every star and sustains every cell knows exactly what you're carrying, and He isn't asking you to know the future. He's asking you to trust Him with it.
Biblical discernment was never about living in fear of getting it wrong. It's about learning to recognize the voice of the Good Shepherd. His sheep know His voice—and that's all I want for you. Not fear, but confidence in Christ.
🙏 A Prayer for You on Your Journey
Father God, I thank You for the mama reading this right now. You know her completely—her hopes, her fears, her questions, and everything she's carrying as she prepares for birth or motherhood. Give her a new sense of the wisdom and discernment Your Word promises. Help her prepare faithfully, without trying to control the outcome. Help her recognize what's true, and turn from what pulls her heart away from You. Protect her from fear, and remind her she doesn't have to know the future, because You already do.
And Lord, if this series has brought conviction about anything she's participated in, meet her there with Your grace. Give her courage to confess and repent, and don't let shame keep her there. Remind her there is so much more grace in You than there is sin in her. I pray she would leave this series knowing You more, trusting You more, and becoming more discerning without becoming more fearful. Give her deep confidence that Your ways are good, that Your wisdom is trustworthy, and that You are worthy of all of our worship. In Jesus' name, amen.
📎Resources & Links Mentioned
✨ Christian Mama Birth Prep Library - Free birth prep tools, including the Birth Practice Discernment Guide to walk through this framework yourself
💕 Work with Me 1:1 - Virtual Doula Support & Schedule a Private Coaching Call
✝️ Online Christian Childbirth Education - Explore my complete birth preparation self-paced course
🎴 NEW Christian Birth Affirmation Cards - You can now purchase them here
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Meet Your Host —
Natalie is a certified birth doula and childbirth educator in Jacksonville, FL. She's trained through DONA International, certified as a Body Ready Method Pro, and an advanced VBAC doula. Through Faith Over Fear Birth, she equips Christian women to experience peaceful, faith-filled births through both virtual and in-person support.
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📄 Full Episode Transcript
We've made it to the final part of the Biblical Discernment series, and if you've been listening through this whole series, we've covered a lot. We've looked at yoga, hypnobirthing, acupuncture, different ceremonies, and so much more. We've looked underneath practices that are often presented as completely harmless, or even as something we can simply Christianize, and we've asked some uncomfortable questions along the way.
Where did this come from? What does it actually believe about reality, about us, and about God? And what does participating in this produce in me over time? I know this series has probably been uncomfortable at times. Maybe you've realized something you've participated in wasn't as spiritually neutral as you once thought. Maybe you've had to rethink something you've genuinely enjoyed, or maybe you've been sitting here thinking, "Okay, if I can't put my confidence in these things, then what can I put my confidence in?" That's really where I want to go today.
I want to start with something I think has been underneath this entire conversation, and it's this: what are we actually looking for when we reach for these different birth practices? It's not problematic that we're looking for solutions to pain or wanting to set ourselves up for success. I think it becomes a problem when we start looking to something other than God to give us what only God can ultimately give us — control, security, power, relief from suffering, even certainty. Those are deeply human desires, and there are righteous and unrighteous ways to pursue them.
Habakkuk chapter 2 gives us an interesting window into what happens when those desires become disordered. We see repeated warnings against people who built their lives around unjust gain, violence, exploiting others, and idolatry. They were trusting in things that are ultimately powerless and lifeless, because they weren't turning to God. But ultimately, God's glory will fill the earth, and human-made idols will be exposed for what they really are. The passage calls God's people to live by faith rather than self-reliance, remembering that the Lord alone is worthy of trust and worship.
Now, of course, Habakkuk isn't talking about childbirth, but I think the heart issue he exposes is so relevant to how we approach birth prep. So here's how I see these woes playing out in the context of birth — and again, this is just my own application of the heart of the passage, not a claim that this is what those woes originally meant. We are experts at taking good desires — things like security, peace, relief from suffering, stability — and turning them into things we feel we must control or secure for ourselves, in our own strength. Those same disordered longings are totally alive in us; they just take on different disguises. They show up in birth prep constantly, in thoughts like, "If I just learn the right technique, I can make this birth go the way I want," or, "If I prepare enough, I'll avoid unwanted outcomes." I totally understand that longing. But here's the thing I've had to learn, and maybe you need to hear it too: God never promised us control over our circumstances. He promised us Himself, and that's a very different kind of security.
Something I've noticed as a birth worker is that both traditional medicine and alternative medicine and wellness practices offer us an almost endless menu of approaches to healing, comfort, and preparation. Some of that is genuinely good and wise, and some of it isn't. Honestly, a lot of it lives somewhere in between, where the real question isn't "is this a good or a bad thing," but rather, "why am I reaching for this, and how much am I leaning on this?" You can take something perfectly natural and pursue it in a way that reveals your heart is longing for control instead of God. That's the distinction we've been circling this whole series. It was never about the practice itself — it's about the heart posture underneath it.
My heart and my prayer is that this series hasn't stirred up dread in you, as if discernment is just one more task to add to your birth prep checklist. I pray that it's actually stirring up joy and peace in you, because inviting the Lord into your decision-making isn't a burden. It's an invitation to freedom. You get to stop carrying the exhausting weight of endless researching, testing, and second-guessing everything you've heard in order to make the perfect decision. Instead, you get to bring it to a Father who already knows what's best for you and this precious baby He's allowed you to steward.
I also know that some of what we've talked about in this series might leave you feeling like you're missing out on something the world says you need. Maybe it feels like everyone around you has access to different techniques and tools that now you're choosing to walk away from. I understand that feeling. But what the world is offering you is only ever what the world has to offer, and God's ways are so much better, so much higher, so much wiser than anything we can come up with ourselves. You're not missing out. You are choosing the better portion.
And this is where I want to make an important distinction when it comes to navigating birth decisions. God-honoring birth preparation doesn't mean we stop preparing. It means we keep learning about the birth process, understanding our options, asking questions, and making thoughtful decisions about our care. Those things are good, and that is good stewardship of what God has given you. Preparation isn't the problem. The real question is what we're trusting our preparation to accomplish. Am I preparing because I want to steward well what God has given me, or am I preparing because I believe that if I do the right things, I can guarantee the right outcome? Those can look identical from the outside, but they're completely different heart postures. That's really what biblical discernment brings us back to — not just "can I do this," but "what am I believing, trusting, or seeking when I engage with this practice, and where am I actually looking for my peace?" Scripture tells us not to put our confidence in ourselves, in our own understanding, or in created things, because we were meant to trust the Lord instead — that comes from Proverbs 3:5-6.
This brings me to something I really want to clarify, because throughout the series we've talked about practices rooted in spiritual systems that are not in line with Scripture, and maybe you've wondered, "Is this actually spiritually dangerous? Is there anything really even behind these practices?" Scripture gives us a nuanced picture here. Paul talks about, in 1 Corinthians 8, how an idol is nothing, and that there's only one true God. But Paul also gives us the other half of this picture in 1 Corinthians 10, where he talks about how what pagans sacrifice, they're actually offering to demons — not because the idol itself has divine power, but because there is a genuine spiritual reality behind idolatrous worship. So Scripture doesn't tell us to treat physical objects as though they have power in and of themselves, but it also doesn't tell us that participation in this false worship is spiritually meaningless. Both are true at the same time.
Christian discernment shouldn't make you paranoid — it should make you wise. There is a spiritual reality Scripture takes very seriously. There is deception, and there are spiritual forces opposed to God. But if you belong to Christ, I want you to know something really important: Jesus is not nervous about these powers, so you don't need to be nervous either. Colossians tells us He disarmed the rulers and authorities and triumphed over them through the cross.
And if we look at Scripture, God is repeatedly warning His people against practices that draw them away from Him. Deuteronomy 18, which we've looked at a lot in this series, is one of the clearest examples — He's warning against sorcery, divination, and consulting spirits, and reminding us over and over that these are why God was driving certain nations out ahead of Israel, because He knew how much these practices would capture their hearts, their imaginations, their affections, and their obedience. God isn't withholding good things from His children by saying "don't participate in these things." He's protecting them from turning away from Him. That's why I don't want you to see this series as a list of Christian shoulds and shouldn'ts — that misses the deeper point. The real question is: who are you looking to? Who are you trusting? Who are you going to when you need wisdom? Proverbs reminds us there's a way that feels right to a person, but its end is death. These are things that feel peaceful, that seem empowering, and that genuinely seem to work. But sincerity doesn't make these things godly. That's why we need discernment.
As we've gone through this series, if you've ever thought to yourself, "Oh no, I've engaged with practices I now see as something I probably want to avoid" — maybe you followed teachings you now realize weren't rooted in Scripture, maybe you've spent years practicing some of these things that you thought were harmless and even really helped you — please hear me in this: this series is not meant to shame you. You don't need to panic over every decision you've ever made. That is not the gospel. If you belong to Christ, you belong to Christ. And when we confess our sin, Scripture tells us that He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. So if you've realized you need to repent of something, to turn a different direction, then repent. But don't stay there beating yourself up. Run toward Christ. He's not standing at the other end of your repentance with crossed arms. He is calling you home, and He's waiting for you with open arms.
So if we're not supposed to put our confidence in these practices, and we're not supposed to turn to them for spiritual power or security or control, then what are we supposed to do? Scripture says we are simply supposed to ask God for wisdom. This comes from James 1:5: "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him." I love that God's Word is so simple in this regard — that we just need to ask Him. That means you don't have to be paralyzed by the fear of getting discernment wrong. You can come to your Father and say, "Lord, I don't know what to do. I don't know what's right. But please give me the wisdom that I need."
And if seeking the Lord for wisdom is a new concept to you, or that's never been your go-to, I would love to encourage you to set aside some time to practice this. For me, in the season that I'm in, it means waking up before the kids are up and spending time in God's Word. When I'm nursing Isaac early in the morning, I'm praying — sometimes that looks like me audibly praying aloud as I'm blow-drying my hair, or praying in my heart if I'm in the shower. Any free time I can find, I'm carving out a little space in my heart and mind to pray and to actually seek Him, and to hear what He has to say back to me. It's like a muscle — the more reps you get in, the stronger it becomes for you to really hear the voice of the Lord. I would love to challenge you in that.
Sometimes I think the reason it's hard for us to hear from God, and to trust Him with something as big as our birth, is that our picture of Him has actually gotten really small. One thing that really helps me is to meditate on the sheer size and magnitude and glory of who God is. One of the ways this helps me is when I think about how physically small we are in all the cosmos. Our sun could hold about a million Earths inside of it, and that's actually considered a small star compared to others in the universe. Our galaxy alone holds hundreds of billions of stars, and there are hundreds of billions of galaxies. Isaiah tells us God brings out that whole host one by one and calls each star by name. Not one is missing.
And then I also feel led to worship when I think about the microscopic, cellular level of detail the Lord has carried out — things like cells dividing, communicating, moving into exact formation, on schedule. Psalm 139 says, "He knit you together in your mother's womb, and every one of your days was written before one of them ever came to be." So holding onto both the magnitude of who He is, and the small details He's attentive to, overwhelms me, and it leads me to worship Him.
And if God is genuinely this vast, but also this intimate in His care for me, then I think when we forget who we're actually praying to, we can slip into treating God almost like He's our personal assistant — someone whose job is to bless our plans, smooth our path, and deliver the outcome we've already decided is best for us. I lose sight of who I am in God's story, and instead see Him as a way to reach my own ends. And if that's you, can I just invite you to repent of that, as I'm learning to repent of it too? God is not a resource for us to manage. And that's actually good news, because it means He's the One holding all things together, and it's not up to me to figure everything out.
Looking back over this whole series — energy work talks about a life force flowing through everything, ceremonies lean on cosmic alignment, and so much of it promises you access, a way to direct that power yourself. That fascination isn't wrong. Romans 1 tells us His invisible qualities have been clearly seen in what He's made, so being in awe of the cosmos or your own body is exactly how you were made to respond. The problem is when the wonder terminates on itself, instead of pointing to God as the ultimate Creator of these things. Paul says people exchange the truth of God for a lie and worship the creation instead of the Creator. These practices take something good and aim it at the wrong object. So when you feel that pull to worship the vastness of the universe, or wonder at what's forming inside you right now, don't suppress that feeling. Follow it all the way up until it leads you to worship the God who created these things.
So wherever you are — whether you're preparing for pregnancy, almost to your due date, or already in the newborn season — your biggest concern in this season is probably, "Will my baby and I be okay?" And although I can't promise you that the way you prepare will guarantee a particular outcome, what I can tell you is that this was never meant to be about controlling an outcome. It's about knowing who you're trusting. The same God who names every star and sustains every cell knows what you're carrying, and He isn't asking you to know the future. He's asking you to trust Him with it. Biblical discernment was never about living in a fearful state about getting it wrong. It's about learning to recognize the voice of the Good Shepherd. His sheep know His voice, and that's all I want for you. Not fear, but confidence in Christ.
Before we close out today's episode, I would love a chance to pray for you as we wrap up this series.
Father God, I thank You for the mama who's listening right now. You know her completely. You know her hopes and her fears. You know all of the questions in her heart, and everything she's carrying up to this point as she's preparing for birth or motherhood. I ask, Lord, that You would give her a new sense of the wisdom and discernment that Your Word promises. Help her prepare faithfully, without trying to control the outcome. Help her recognize what's true, and turn from what pulls her heart away from You. Protect her from her fears, and remind her that she doesn't have to know the future, because You already do. And Lord, if this series has brought conviction about anything she's participated in, I pray that You would meet her there with Your grace. Give her the courage to confess and repent, and don't let shame keep her there. Remind her that there is so much more grace in You than there is sin in her. I pray she would leave this series knowing You more, trusting You more, and becoming more discerning without becoming more fearful. Give her a deep confidence that Your ways are good, that Your wisdom is trustworthy, and that You are worthy of all of our worship. I pray this in Jesus' name.
Well, mama, if you're thinking, "Okay, I do want to keep learning these things — I want to be more intentional about discernment and what I'm bringing into my birth prep" — that's exactly why I created the Birth Practice Discernment Guide, and you can find that inside the Christian Mama Birth Prep Library at faithoverfearbirth.com, or by clicking the link in the show notes to sign up for access to the Library. And if you would like to walk alongside me one-on-one, I would love the opportunity to be your virtual doula. There will also be a link in the show notes for how I can walk alongside you, and we can walk through discernment of birth practices, and other things, together, in real time.
And until next time, mama, just remember: you don't have to prepare perfectly. You just need to prepare faithfully.
