Breaking Through Fear After Cesarean: How Preparation & Surrender Led to Veronica's Healing Home Birth

Apr 14

Welcome, friend! Today I'm sharing one of the most powerful redemption stories I've had the privilege of witnessing as a doula. Veronica's journey from a 33-hour labor ending in emergency cesarean to a peaceful home water birth is a testament to God's faithfulness when we surrender our plans to Him. Whether you're considering a VBAC, processing your own birth trauma, or simply needing encouragement that God can redeem any story, this conversation will fill your heart with hope. Grab your coffee and settle in—this one's special.

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From Type-A Planning to Total Surrender

When I first met Veronica, she was pregnant with her second baby, having recently moved from Washington to Florida while still breastfeeding her toddler Louis. But her story really begins with her first birth—a marathon 33-hour labor that ended in ways she never imagined.

"I had my spreadsheets where I was researching everything," Veronica shared about her first pregnancy. "I was like, I need to take these beef organs. I need to be on top of my drinking water." She walked 2-6 miles daily, took every supplement, even flew in special fruit from Seattle. She was the definition of prepared.

Yet despite all her meticulous planning, Louis's birth became a cascade of interventions: water breaking at 41 weeks, 15 hours of laboring at home, chorioamnionitis infection, 8 hours on the highest dose of Pitocin, an epidural that only worked on one side, and finally, an emergency cesarean for her 9.7-pound baby.

When God's Plans Supersede Our Spreadsheets

What struck me most about Veronica's story was how a pastor from Africa had prayed over her first pregnancy, saying doctors would "marvel at her birth." At the time, she thought it meant everything would go perfectly according to her plans.

"Now I take it as like, you know, I planned all of this, but it just will not go the way I planned," she reflected. "But everything worked out in the end."

This shift in perspective would become the foundation for her second birth journey.

The Call to Something Different

When Veronica became pregnant with Theo just months after Louis (while still breastfeeding!), her body was depleted. Severe allergies, endless mucus, and exhaustion from the antibiotics she'd needed after Louis's birth left her feeling physically weak. Yet at 30 weeks, something shifted.

The constant pressure about the Rhogam shot (with its 0.0008% risk) and the dismissive "what questions do you have?" appointments pushed her to explore other options. Despite her husband Jason's initial hesitation about home birth, Veronica felt God leading her toward First Coast Midwifery.

Prayer Warriors Across Continents

This time, Veronica approached birth differently. Yes, she still prepared—dates, raspberry leaf tea, vitamin C for a strong amniotic sac—but the biggest change was spiritual.

"My mother-in-law, she's like a warrior. Her gift is like prayer," Veronica explained. This prayer warrior mother-in-law mobilized believers from Washington to Florida, from Ukraine to Africa. Living Stream Church's prayer group covered her. Pastors in Africa interceded.

The difference was palpable: "I had a lot of peace in my heart where I feel like with Louis, I didn't."

Laboring in Faith

When contractions started at 1 AM on June 6th, Veronica's response revealed her transformed mindset. Instead of immediately alerting everyone, she rested, trusting her body and God's timing. She labored peacefully at home all day, eating eggs for protein, timing contractions, doing the miles circuit.

Her mental approach to contractions became a spiritual practice: "I thought of it like a wave... you just basically have to feel a lot of pain for about 20 seconds to a minute. And I'm like, that is doable."

When I arrived around 9 PM with my "dilation station" tools, Veronica was already deep in her zone. The transition on the toilet (yes, the toilet—it's a doula secret weapon!) brought shaking and nausea, classic signs of hormonal shifts.

The Redemptive Moment

In the warm water of her own bathtub, surrounded by dim lights and the laughter of her birth team, Veronica experienced everything she'd prayed for. After her water broke, baby Theo came quickly—though not without drama. His hand was up by his head, and as his elbow popped out, he gave his mama quite a tear.

But even this couldn't diminish the joy. "I got to have literally everything I wanted for this birth," Veronica marveled, "down to letting my placenta come out while the cord was still attached."

"He taught me to let go, right? Because with the first birth, I was just a little bit like, I'm in control. And it's like it all went opposite... where I'm like, well, I'm gonna give it to God. And I did that with so many things, and I feel like it just, it turned out better than I even imagined because God was able to carry out what was needed for my birth."

Grace in the Hard Places

Even Veronica's challenging postpartum—severe tearing, infection requiring 18 rounds of antibiotics, and concerns about sepsis—couldn't steal her gratitude. Pastors came to anoint her with oil. She fought through with faith.

"You take it for granted when you're healthy," she reflected. "And then when you're truly sick and like you're in the hospital and they're like, 'Hey, it might be in your blood,' and you're kind of like fighting for your life... it really puts it into perspective."

📖 Scripture for Your Heart

"Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." - Proverbs 19:21

Oh mama, if Veronica's story teaches us anything, it's the beautiful truth wrapped in this verse. She had her spreadsheets. Her beef organ supplements. Her perfectly calculated walks and dates and birth plan for Louis. Every detail meticulously planned—yet God had a different story to write.

But here's the beauty: His purpose that prevailed included both the unexpected cesarean AND the redemptive home birth. Both were part of His perfect plan for Veronica's journey into motherhood.

With Theo's birth, Veronica learned to hold her plans loosely. She still prepared—because wisdom calls us to steward our bodies well—but this time she held those preparations with open hands. "I'm gonna give it to God," she decided. And when she did? She received more than her spreadsheets ever could have planned: prayer warriors across continents, peace that surpassed understanding, and every single thing she prayed for coming to pass.

Your plans matter, sweet friend. Your desires for your birth are not wrong. But when you surrender them to the One whose purposes always prevail, you open yourself to a story more beautiful than you could write yourself. Whether that story includes the birth you're envisioning or takes unexpected turns like Veronica's first did, His purpose will be good. It will be right. It will be exactly what you and your baby need.

So make your plans, prepare your body, pray your prayers—then hold it all with Veronica's hard-won wisdom: "It all works its way out eventually... it's all for God's glory at the end of the day."

His purposes will prevail, and they will be beautiful.

🙏 A Prayer for You on Your Journey

Father God, we thank You for Veronica's testimony of Your faithfulness. For every mama reading this who carries birth trauma, who fears attempting a VBAC, or who struggles to surrender control—wrap them in Your peace. Show them, as You showed Veronica, that Your plans are always better than our spreadsheets. Give them prayer warriors to cover them, providers who honor their choices, and the courage to trust You with their birth stories. We declare redemption over every painful memory and freedom from every fear. In Jesus's mighty name, Amen.

📎Resources & Links Mentioned

✨ Christian Mama Birth Prep Library - Free birth prep tools, worship playlists & more

✝️ Online Christian Childbirth Education - Explore my complete birth preparation self-paced course

📞 Free 15-Minute Discovery Call: Schedule your no-obligation consultation with me today! I would LOVE to connect with you.

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**Meet Your Host —**

Natalie is a certified birth doula and childbirth educator in Jacksonville, FL. She's trained through DONA International, certified as a Body Ready Method Pro, and an advanced VBAC doula. Through Faith Over Fear Birth, she equips Christian women to experience peaceful, faith-filled births through both virtual and in-person support.
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📄 Full Episode Transcript

Natalie: Welcome back to the Faith Over Fear podcast. Today I'm talking with Veronica Chernetskiy, a mama of two boys, 2-year-old Louis and five-month-old baby Theo. She's deep in the postpartum season. After recently moving from Washington to Florida with her family, Veronica went from a C-section with her first to home birth after cesarean with her second.

And the way she approached this journey was incredible. She had prayer warriors covering her from multiple states, and even pastors in Africa praying for her birth. Everything she prayed for came to pass by God's will, and I can't wait to share with you how it all unfolded. Veronica, welcome to the podcast.

Veronica: Thank you so much.

Natalie: So happy you're here. Oh, and I forgot to mention I was your doula for your home birth after cesarean.

Veronica: Yes.

Natalie: A beautiful home birth. Oh my goodness.

Veronica: You were a great doula. I feel like my husband and I hired a doula in the first place because in case it was a hospital birth, like you could fight for us a little bit.

Natalie: Well, especially considering your first birth experience, which let's get into that. Let's talk about your birth experience with Louis. Share a little bit about that pregnancy, that birth experience, and that postpartum time.

Veronica: Yeah, so with Louis, it kind of all worked out, in my opinion, by God's plan, especially when I first got pregnant. I had a lot of changes with my career path and then my mindset. I stopped stressing as much. I feel like some of us either have a pregnancy where we're very type A, want everything organized, picked out specifically, or some of us are kind of like go with the flow. I was on the side of type A, like planning everything out. I had my spreadsheets where I was researching everything. I was like, I need to take these beef organs. I need to be on top of my drinking water.

I was working through my whole pregnancy with Louis, but I was walking two to six miles a day and I was trying to take all my supplements. I was flying in fruit from Seattle at the time. I just wanted fruit, a lot of fruit, and I was eating a ton of dates. I started my colostrum, I think at like 32, 34 weeks. I started kind of early, so I had a stash of that. And so I, in a sense, tried to make the perfect pregnancy. So, you know, you create a plan and it doesn't really go the way you plan it to go.

And at the time, we also prayed with this pastor from Africa. My husband's family's really close to him, and he said doctors would kind of marvel at your birth. Now I take it as like, you know, I planned all of this, but it just will not go the way I planned. But everything worked out in the end. I made a huge, huge plan of like, okay, I want the cord not to be cut quickly. I want everything to go according to plan with, just in case I have a C-section, I put gentle cesarean. I, of course, did not think I would have any of that. I was dead set on laboring at home as long as I could, which I did.

I believe I was 41 weeks and maybe three days or so when my water broke, and it was a break where it was pretty loud. You could hear it, and it was around two or 3:00 AM. It was like, boom. In my head I was like, what is that? So I went to the bathroom and then it gushed, luckily all out while I was on hard floor. In my head, I was like, well, I could still labor at home. I wasn't accepting it. And I know typically people are like, well, your water broke, you need to go to the hospital.

I texted my sister-in-law because she was like, text me, you know, I'll be there for you. I texted my sister-in-law. We at that point were like, okay, well you should go to the hospital. I still didn't want to go. I was walking around the block doing stuff, trying to get it going. I went after about 12 to 15 hours, I think it was closer to 15 hours, and everything was fine.

I was still progressing at that point. And they have to check you when you get in. And then after that, you know, we had a great nurse. Everything was going well. It was nighttime. We had a beautiful room. Like we got very lucky with everything. It kind of started, I don't know, after I got epidural. I got chorio and so that pretty much stopped my progress and, you know, I got epidural, I got like the lowest dose epidural because my sister-in-law was like, well, you need to sleep.

You haven't slept in two days. And they were like, you're not progressing. They put me on Pitocin, highest dose Pitocin. I was on that about eight hours and it was a lot. It was really, really painful. I've never felt so much pain. You're at the point where you're so exhausted mentally, physically, that you're kind of just like okay with whatever.

I feel like birth is just a very intense experience, but it's still, it could be filled with a lot of like God's presence at the same time, which I created a huge spreadsheet of like verses being read to me and like very positive affirmations. It's kind of one of those things where we all have to go through it. You might as well have a more positive outlook about it. And in my head, I always tell like my friends, I'm like, we're not the weakest links, right? Like at the end of the day, praise God, we have the hospital, we have medical intervention if we need it, but we have so many amazing tools, resources, and people that can help us through the journey. So I always tell myself, okay, you can do it. You're not the weakest link. There's people who had a way harder time than you.

So my first birth, it was about 33 hours. By the time I gave birth, I wasn't progressing, nothing was going right. And I remember my husband slunk over on the bed and he was just so sad for me because in a sense you just had to accept, you have an infection and you have a temperature and it goes one of two ways, right? Because then the baby's health gets worse, my health gets worse, and you gotta get him out fast now at this point.

So I got to a point where I just accepted where I was. I remember they had to really put a lot of the epidural into my system because it didn't work on half my side. So I felt the pain pretty much the whole time, and they injected so much into me that afterwards, I'm sure everyone, like we have the shakes, so I couldn't even hold my baby. After you kind of just feel disconnected, you feel tired, you're just kind of like, it is what it is, you know?

And so I gave birth to a 9.7 pound baby. I'm not a very tall person. So like, you're kind of like, whoa, how did you, like, I had a big, big stomach, you know? So it was surprising that I had such a big baby. Maybe it was all the beef organs. I was just so like, type A, like I need all those supplements. I don't know, it was all those dates. I ate a ton of like huge dates. So I have no idea. But yeah, so anyways, he was born, he was healthy.

But with C-section, you know, you don't feel the pain. Yes, you feel the pain of like, you know, you got cut open and all of that, but in a sense you feel less, but it's still intense and it's a bigger recovery. My baby had torticollis. The way that he was pulled out, he had like a lot of colic problems. It was basically a year of just hard work because my baby had problems and I didn't take him to the chiropractor right away. So I feel like my birth was hard, my postpartum was hard. I had to go on antibiotics.

I've never went on antibiotics. That kind of ruined my immune system and my baby just, he got sick too, pretty much one month I think he got sick. So my postpartum was really, really hard and I didn't have as much help at that time because you feel guilty and you kind of feel like I didn't have my mom. I had like my mother-in-law, which she's an angel too. You feel guilty, right? It's not like your blood in a sense that you're asking. It was a long journey. It was hard. It was rewarding. Of course, I got a gift from God from it, so I am very grateful. But it was just, it was a hard path that I feel like now that I look back, I took, and I'm very grateful because it wasn't as hard as other people I'm sure have had.

So I have a lot of things I am still very happy about. I've learned so much from my first experience. So I moved here about November of 2023 and I was pregnant with Theo and I was still breastfeeding Louis. And so I breastfed Louis for about three months. I was trying to teach him to sleep on his own. And so, you know, it's kind of a shock. You're like, what is going on?

So I started looking into doulas and our realtor who sold us the house, he told us about you. And so I was like, well, I love that she's Christian. I kind of want to interview her. And ironically, I had my husband, because I was so tired, I had my husband also find a couple of doulas, and he pointed you out first too. So it was like, I was like, well, it's God ordained in a sense since my husband found you.

Natalie: So I reached out to you. I, you know, we had a phone call. I was like, great. I'm like, I'm happy, you know, my husband doesn't have to stress about the birth, none of that. And so because of how everything, you know, easily fell into place, I felt very at peace with my decision. And I feel like I'm not a very needy client, I feel like.

Veronica: Yeah, you're very low maintenance.

Natalie: Okay. I felt like, I was like, okay, I have my research. I just need, you know, I liked that you had, you know, the assessment you offered, you know, with like my body, all of that. And I was like, great, you know, just kind of guide me in the direction I need.

Orchestrated transcript refinement with grammar corrections and structural formatting.

I need to continue editing the transcript. I'll keep going through the rest of it, fixing grammar, punctuation, and creating natural paragraph breaks while maintaining the conversational flow and speaker labels.

But for the most part, I already did my research. I knew what I wanted. You know, we unpacked, we moved, I had help with my mom. She flew down and was watching Louis for a little bit. Everything was great.

And then I feel like since I didn't have a gap in between Louis and Theo to really detox and get my health back in check post antibiotics, it takes about two years. I started to get really sick and started having allergies. I just had so much mucus. I at one point couldn't hear because I just had mucus all the time. And I was like, I have never had this in my life.

And I read into, you know, your gut, if your gut's not in check it creates more mucus, you have more histamine intolerances, you tend to have more inflammation. And so I was like, well, you know, we just, you gotta roll with it in a sense. So my health was just not the best, but I was, you know, praise God, able to still carry out pregnancy.

I didn't have much nausea, so I'm very grateful for that. But I was just so tired, and I'm sure I realized looking back, I'm like, wow, I was such a princess. Yeah. I had to work my first pregnancy, but in a sense, you don't have a toddler who's like your little prince demanding you around, you know?

Natalie: Yeah, I remember whenever I was pregnant with my first, I would go to my car, take a nap whenever I was like still working. And then whenever I was pregnant last time with Daniel, with little Ellie running around, and then this time with two little ones running around. I'm like, man, it is so different when you are being a mom 24/7 on top of being pregnant.

Veronica: It is.

Natalie: Oh.

Veronica: It's a tough time for sure.

Natalie: Yeah. I went from one to two was a hard change for me. People say the third, once you have your third, it's like angel baby, and you're like, I'm gonna have a fourth. That's what I hear.

Veronica: My children, God bless them, are not easy, especially like when they get to the toddler stage. Babies, they're pretty easygoing. But man, when they become toddlers, they are very strong-willed. So yeah, we'll see. We'll see what the Lord has for this little boy's temperament.

Natalie: I guess we can't really choose their personalities, you know? With Theo, I did pray, I had very specific prayers this time. I was like, help him to be a happy, peaceful, sleeping baby, you know, because with Louis, he was just throwing up 10 to 20 times a day, and I had so many burp cloths. I had so many different tools, drops, everything, you know? So with this one, I was like, please let him be peaceful, happy, help them sleep, help them to, of course, love each other. I had the, you know, all of these specifics because I was like, well, great, if I'm having a boy, I don't have to buy as many new clothing items for them, you know, they could just share one after the other.

And so, yeah, the rest of my pregnancy, it was, I feel like after five, six months, I was just tired. My first trimester, because I was breastfeeding, sleep training, all of that. Then second trimester, I felt like I felt better, but then the allergies started kicking in probably around March, and then around April, May, it was getting to that point where I remember I got an ear infection. I had a photo shoot scheduled and I had to tell her, I was like, "Hey, I have an ear infection. I'm so sorry. I don't think I'll be able to do a maternity." We just did a couple photos at home, just with me being pregnant and with Louis and my husband. I was happy with that.

I just was so tired. I didn't really care. After, you know, you get to a certain point and I remember my mom, so my mom also decided to move to Florida, and so she decided to move to Florida right at the perfect time. I feel like God's timing is so amazing because we weren't supposed to move to Florida till spring of 2025, and it kind of just all worked out, and that was a huge blessing in itself because at the time, everything was so expensive. So it's kind of wild, you know, like I feel like money kind of appears out of nowhere and that's just like God's blessings. You know, we had a lot of, you know, prayers over that.

Same with my mom. She moved right around the time of May, mid-May, and towards the end I remember I was like queasy, which I did not have with Louis. With this one, I specifically prayed to have a small baby because I wanted to have a VBAC. I remember I specifically prayed for that because to the doctor, which I feel like going to the doctor I turned 180.

I used to be very like pro healthcare, which I am in, you know, very emergency situations. I think it's such a blessing to have, don't get me wrong, but I do think a lot could be fixed and maintained on your own. I believe it's a lifestyle. You have to eat healthy, you have to try to get exercise, you have to take care of your body because you can't expect a well-oiled machine to work if you're not really putting into it.

And so I feel like with Theo, as much as I could, I did do the raspberry tea leaf. I did what is it, the pineapple with the, I forget what the other juice is. I did like all of the...

Natalie: You did a lot of the dates, you did a lot of the cervical ripening methods that I generally recommend.

Veronica: Yes, I did like all of that, but I tried to do a little bit less dates this time. I did three to four because my histamines were just so high. Because of the sugar, it kept producing mucus. So I lowered the dates a little bit. I just like was being very picky about some stuff.

And doctors, I remember I was asking them like, so what do you guys recommend for, you know, even just allergies, right? I remember talking to them because I have like a ton of holistic books and I was like, you know, I read vitamin B, high dose C, but especially vitamin B specifically helps with lowering your histamines. And I remember they were like, they just kind of say the regular stuff, you know, Claritin, which I read.

And I felt like you go in and a lot of these doctors are like, so what do you, what questions do you have for me? And they kind of just do the bare minimum. I was paying like four or $500 per appointment to see these doctors who were not even like helpful in any way. And you're like not really being treated with care, you're being treated with enough care where you're like, you're good enough. But in a sense, I would, let's say they would, I would come to them and I'd be like, "Hey, I am thinking about doing a home birth." And I looked into the statistics at this point. I looked into how, see, realistically how much I would have a uterine rupture, right?

Natalie: Yeah, that's one of the bigger risks of attempting a VBAC, a vaginal birth after cesarean is the risk of uterine rupture. But like you're pointing out, the actual statistics of that are very low. It is very safe to attempt a VBAC if you have all the other factors that are in your favor. Obviously there are some situations where it shouldn't be done, but that would be very evident to your medical team, to your provider, whether or not it is just truly unsafe to attempt. But for most cases, like 90-plus percent of cases, a vaginal birth after cesarean is statistically more safe and has better outcomes for mom and baby than having a repeat cesarean for sure.

Veronica: Yes, 1000%. I kind of would test them a little bit in a sense of like, okay, what's the percentage? You know? I was like, what's the percentage of it actually happening? Well, it's very low. And so they would just reply, well, it's low, but we don't recommend you to have any kind of home birth, none of this. And I understand, you know, like they have their own practices because that's just what they learned, right? And it's like, you're used to what you're used to, but it's like, I truly believe it's a business. It's the business of being born. That was just my personal experience. And then they don't even teach you. They're just like, what questions do you have?

Natalie: Yeah. Yeah, that is the typical model for most OBGYNs because of the way their office is structured and the way insurance is structured and the liability they have between the hospital and all these other governing bodies. And it just fosters an environment that unfortunately is like, let's see people as quickly as humanly possible, get them in and out the door. It's not a time to educate as much as to just check vitals and to do the checkbox of any questions.

And then I feel like a lot of the time, unfortunately, my clients will come with valid questions and just be so dismissed and so invalidated in their concern or their just like the questions they have. And so it's not that these providers are evil, it's the environment in which they're made to practice that does not foster that type of care model.

Veronica: Mm-hmm.

Natalie: Can you share a little bit more about when the Lord was stirring in your heart to pursue a possible home birth path? Since that was deviating from the original plan with this pregnancy.

Veronica: Yeah, I would say it was when they kept pestering me about the Rhogam shot, which the percent is 0.0008 of something happening, by the way, that's before you get the shot. So I was just kind of like being pushed into a corner, I feel like. It was around 30 weeks I was thinking about it, and then I was like, well, let me just like ask you about it and who you recommend.

And I personally wanted to do it at my house rather than a birthing center. My husband was like, well let's do it at a birthing center because I think it's just like so wild to do it at home. At least for us, because we had such an intense first experience to then like, "Hey, let's do it at home."

And so I went and I met with First Coast Midwifery. I didn't even meet Sam, Sam was my midwife. I didn't even meet her until the birth, but I went there about two, three times before I gave birth. We, you know, got everything covered, everything was good. And I actually was like, can I do it at my house? Because they had the two rooms and they were like, well, depends location-wise, if we're close to a hospital.

And I'm like, whatever way it works out, it will work out. You gave me this baby, and you will see it through if it's truly meant to be in a sense. And you kind of have to have that kind of mindset where it's positive, because it's all for God's glory at the end of the day, and it all works its way out eventually. So I typically, I think with finding them, I didn't agree until 38 weeks to have it at home because, you know, I had to convince the husband. Finally I was like, yeah, I have a bathtub.

Natalie: They typically would include like a labor tub. But yeah, you had the most perfect bathtub already to be able to labor in. And the other thing I wanted to point out about this particular provider is they have a birth center, but they can also do home birth. So that's why you were figuring out what option to do because most home birth midwives don't have a birth center as well as the capability to do home birth.

Veronica: Yeah, they had a huge, like round bathtub for one of the rooms, which I liked. But for me, it felt like very peaceful to be at home and not have to travel anywhere. I was okay with whatever happened with this one with like as long as the baby and I are healthy, right? And I was like, I want to give birth vaginally, be able to actually experience my birth and not be on like a ton of drugs.

Natalie: Let's get into, let's get into Theo's birth story. So how far along were you when you started realizing, okay, this is real labor?

Veronica: I would say I realized, I did not feel really Braxton Hicks, maybe like once, one point. It wasn't like super intense. I would say I do have a high pain tolerance in my opinion. I don't know what other people feel, but I think I do.

Natalie: I agree with that, Veronica. You have a very high pain tolerance.

Veronica: Because I'm like, I don't know. Because I tend to maybe to my husband, I'll complain to him and I'll be like, this hurts. And so he's like, sure you have a high pain tolerance. And so I truly felt it. I feel like babies always come at night typically, or they start, you know, you start contracting at night. So I think it started 1:00 AM basically like right on June 6th.

And I remember even during this point, I had my mother-in-law. She's like a warrior. Her gift is like prayer. She's very, very like, prayer woman. She gets up at like three in the morning, God bless her. That's very hard to do for me. But she gets up and she prays for everyone, and she goes to a prayer group. When she was visiting here, she went to the, we attend Living Stream Church. So she attended their prayer group, asked everyone to pray for me, people in Spokane. And then they have, she has people in Ukraine, you know, so she, she's just very, has prayer people.

So I was blessed to have that in my life. So I was very at peace. I had a lot of peace in my heart where I feel like with Louis, I didn't, in a sense it was just like a different experience. It was just, I don't know how to explain it other than like, I had a lot of like prayers and I truly, truly believe like it was like prayers that made it what it was. Without that, I feel like a lot could have happened. With that, it is just a huge, huge difference.

And so this starting at 1:00 AM and all my contractions, I remember thinking, I'm like, I'm not gonna tell Jason because I'm like, I want him to sleep. With your second, you're kind of already knowing what to expect. What I did to not let my water break this time was I ate a ton of vitamin C, like a ton. I think you even told me, you ate grapefruits. I went and bought grapefruits that day.

Natalie: Yeah, it's a really fascinating thing that has been studied where mamas that have a good vitamin C rich diet, their amniotic sacs are really strong. And I for some reason crave a lot of like vitamin C rich fruits and like citrus fruits and berries and peppers, like all those types of things. And both of my labors, my amniotic sac was so tough. Like when they had, they ended up having to break it both times. My OB and my midwife were like, your bag of waters is so tough.

So that's what my recommendation is now. And I even go over that in my consults with my clients because yeah, it's easy to do. Like just introduce vitamin C rich foods in your diet and hopefully that will save you from having your water break ahead of labor.

Veronica: Yeah. And I would say it's, it's worth it. Because I remember with, maybe it was because it was early labor with Louis. It didn't even like hurt. I just heard the pop. Even with Theo's, I felt it pop, I like, I could feel it was thicker.

You gotta prep your body. It's like how I think of labor, it's not the whole point. Like we focus on the pain aspect of it, but labor is supposed to be hard. It's laborious work, right? So it's like you're doing hard work so it's like if you can prepare whether you're working out, doing something, it's gonna be easier than if you go into it not prepared. And so, you know, because we all have to get through it, you know.

So I tried to go back to sleep. I went back to sleep. I would wake up every hour or two, but I remember when I would lay down, my contractions would go farther apart than like if I was up and moving about. So I was like, well, it's night. It's still early. This is the time you have to rest. And I learned that from my first time. You have to rest. Get as much sleep as you possibly can. Early on, once your contractions start, like drop whatever you're doing, get your babysitter. Yeah, I got my rest.

Then I think I got up at like eight or nine. I was having contractions. I think I told Jason at that point, and all I ate throughout the whole day was eggs. I just say eggs because you're just like, okay, protein, I need protein. I need things that will satiate my body. And so, yeah, after that, I think I, in my head, did not want anyone to come until I was like late labor. I don't know why. I just didn't want to inconvenience anyone. I felt like in my head I'm like, what if it doesn't happen? Because my first labor was 33 hours.

I feel comfortable by myself and like with my husband, even though it's like he doesn't like to see me in pain, but he would help squeeze my back or I would just relax and lay around. Or I tried to move and I did the mile circuit. I think I was texting you like it would get close to five minutes, then it would go back up to six. I was just laboring for like the whole day so I think I texted you. I still was reluctant for you guys to come. I don't know why it's just in my head, but I was like, okay, you guys should probably come. Did you come around nine?

Natalie: Yeah, that sounds about right. It was getting later into the evening when you were finally like, okay, yeah. I think things are starting to really progress here, which, in some ways the concern shouldn't be like, oh, I don't want to inconvenience my doula or my birth team. But it is wise to have the mindset of I don't want to call everyone here if I'm still a little bit on the fence of if things are really starting to pick up.

It also is good to know yourself, which you do have good self-awareness to know that that time alone was going to help you just stay in the zone. Because when you invite people into that space, it does shift the environment. It just does.

Veronica: Yeah.

Natalie: There's a saying that some midwives will say, and it's like for every person you invite into your birth space, like it adds an hour to the birth. I don't know if I perfectly agree with that, but I think there is something to that with the fact that we are emotional creatures and there's so many aspects in which we can draw safety or different things from the environment. And so it is helpful to just do what you were doing, which was just continue to labor in whatever way was helpful for you at the time, which for that point was just you and Jason.

And just getting help with Louis so that you weren't thinking about him. Because that's a big part too, whenever you're a mom who is laboring at home with other kids around, knowing that can also be a very big mental shift and sometimes can stall the labor until you feel like you're not in like mom mode while also like laboring. I've seen that happen firsthand for sure many times.

Veronica: Yeah. And I feel like I just did better too, by myself for sure. For me personally, the more people would probably add another hour. Like I feel like that's why you go to the hospital. Like for me personally, I went to the hospital with Louis. Lights are bright, you're asked a ton of questions. What does that do? That spikes your cortisol, stresses you out, slows down your labor. And then you're like, they tell you they send some people home because you're not progressing, right?

So me, I feel like that is true and that's kind of another reason I'm like, I could control my lights, my music, my environment and you know, at the end of the day you could go to the hospital still. It's, you're not stuck at home, right? So, yeah, I feel like it just like made such a big difference. And I got to, in a sense, lounge in bed and relax and I still was trying to go and walk around, be active because I did read, you know, that helps with like progressing things along.

I think I had you come around 9:00 PM at that point. I felt like things started progressing a lot more because you put me on the, as you call it, dilation station. And I was on the ball. So I was on the ball a lot from like the last hours I remember. Because I was like, okay, I need to like move around, get on the ball. I went into the bathtub for like an hour or so before you came too, but then I just didn't feel good in the bathtub anymore. You're kind of just like over it.

So I got out, you, I think put me on the toilet and then at that point I remember asking you, I was like, am I transitioning? When am I gonna transition? Because I was just scared that I'm like, not gonna transition. And I didn't know what to expect. I'm like, okay, I don't know. My first was so long. It's 33 hours. This one I think was what, 24 hours? Yeah. And so like total with like the start, not like the labor, the intense labor part.

And so I think I got a little queasy. Like you were right, you told me. Because I was like, let's put in the humidifier. Let's put oils. You're like, you might not like it. And I was like, get that away from me. Because I was just like, I don't know why it just repulsed me. Maybe that was my transition point. I don't know. Do you think I transitioned in the tub? I don't even know when I transitioned.

Natalie: I think you were definitely picking up from active labor on the toilet, honestly, especially since the smells were starting to really get to you. Were you getting nauseous on the toilet? I can't remember now.

Veronica: Yeah.

Veronica: And I remember I was shaking.

Natalie: Yeah, so that's usually when there's a hormonal shift that's happening. And that was the point where I was like, let's go ahead and get the midwife here, because I think we're getting much closer now. But yeah, it is funny how that's my trick is to not diffuse oils like in a diffuser, but to have it like on a napkin or a paper towel or something in case you all of a sudden are like nope, I am not feeling that essential oil. Because it just, you want to be able to pivot quickly with the smells and things that are helpful or not so helpful.

Veronica: Yeah, and I remember I did try to listen to other people give birth and like their stories and what helped them. You know everyone's so different. Like some people they took a walk in the woods that helped them like, great, I did not have that experience. Maybe I will one day.

But for me, what really helped me was like, I'm one contraction closer. Okay, now, you know, half a day passed, we know another, you know, hour or so will come by. And then the wave, like you think of a contraction. This really helped me. I thought of it on a pain level. I thought of it like, okay, you time your contraction because I was timing them for you. So I kind of knew how long the pain would last. And so it would peak, let's say around 30 seconds to a minute. The pain would last and I thought of it like a wave where I'm like, okay, it's the peak up here where I have to actually like feel the pain and then it starts to go back down and that, so you just basically have to feel a lot of pain for about like, I don't know, anywhere from like 20 seconds to a minute. And I'm like, that is doable.

Then I got a break for like anywhere from two to five, six minutes, depending how long it is. So I was so grateful to have that break compared to the first time. Like I was just so grateful. I was like, wow, this is amazing. I get to have a break. I don't have to have pain the whole time, like with Pitocin for eight hours, it was just like a blessing. And so I was like, this is, this is doable. I can do this.

I felt like once you suggested to get the midwife over here, she checked me. Because you know, you kind of have to see how far you are. I think she checked me at 10 or 10:30 and the bath was filling up at that point, which was great because that takes a little bit. And I think she told me I was like seven or eight centimeters, I can't remember right around there. And so I was like, okay, great. I'm further way along than I thought I would be, you know? Because I don't know, in my head, thought I was like four or five centimeters because it was like more painful, but it was not as painful as my first time. And so it was just like, I'm like, okay, this is manageable. We can get through this.

Once I got in the bathtub, basically the water helped a lot. For me personally, I felt like you feel the warmth. It calms you down. I really, really liked the environment you set with the lamp you brought in. I really liked that it was nighttime, it was dim. I enjoyed like listening to you guys talk and like laughing. It was like a good distraction in like, for the breaks. I mean, because then I would focus, like something else that I focused on was like, it's not, I know, it's like for me, I'm not like a very deep like, I guess like no one really deeply moans in public or whatever, but like you have to like, it's like the physical aspect of like when you deeply moan, you're like thinking the baby's going down. So that was what else helped me with like transitioning, getting everything.

Because I think you guys got me in the bathtub around 11 or something. I gave birth at one, I think in the morning, right? Within like two hours after that point. Because then it started progressing pretty fast. And I think 30 minutes or one hour before I gave birth, my water broke. And that was like once it broke, it was like boom and then the contraction, like everything. Because now you don't have that cushion, you know? So everything's more intense. I understood real quick why it's called the ring of fire.

But it's at least towards that part. You're like, I am near the end. You are almost through it. The last part. It's intense for everyone. I think towards the end I was like, just come out. I ripped pretty bad. I think Sam told me he came out with his elbow, right? I can't...

Natalie: So he was compound, meaning his hand was up near his head. And then as you pushed him out and he came out, his elbow popped out to the side and she was like, and that was the moment that he got you. Because up to until that point, like you were stretching well and all that. And even that hand was coming through. But then when his elbow popped out, she was like, that's when he got you.

Veronica: And they're so strong. They're like little strong little guys in there. It's like crazy. And I was like trying to do it slowly on purpose, you know? I was like, I'm gonna do it slow, push hard. I think during that point I was still talking to you guys. I remember, I really liked in the moment I remember you taking like videos and that picture I sent you of Jason, I like really happy you captured that because it's like, he's like a very like, like, I don't know how to describe him. He's not a very emotional guy. I could see the sense of relief. Because I know he was not traumatized from the first experience. I don't know another word for that, but I guess defeated, that's a better way to say it, because it was just like, you know, night and day.

Like, I got to have literally everything I wanted for this birth down to not only letting my placenta like come out while the cord was still attached. But I was like, I want to see that it's not pulsing and I want to feel it. You know what I mean? So I feel like I really, with this one, was so blessed to get everything I wanted down to like a water birth, down to, you know, like the pain tolerance for me was tolerable.

Like, I truly feel like, and I'm so happy you guys came because my husband got a break, right? Because he was with me the whole day. That's like an emotional burden he was carrying. Like, it sucks to watch the person you're with in pain. And then in a sense with women, we can kind of relate to each other and carry it a little bit better than men. Men kind of hold it inside.

So I feel like I really like that photo. It makes you like, love your husbands more because you know, they are willing to take care of you, love you. And, you know, he prayed over me, read the verses to me all day. I do have like a list of things that I wanted him to do for me throughout the day. Like specifically with like pain and all of that.

And oh, and this is another reason why I got so blessed. Like, I feel like God led me to Sam being my midwife was because she's so good at suturing and I did not think I would rip that hard. I gave birth in the squat position. I don't know why. I just did. Because I felt like maybe he'd come out better, like faster. But yes, she sutured. I asked her to suture me first and did feel some of the sutures, but I just didn't care anymore. You're just like, get it done. And I lost quite a bit of blood, so I was a little like loopy for a little bit.

But yeah, I feel like birth with how intense it was. Yeah, it was painful. It was hard work, but I feel like I got everything I wanted. Everything was just perfect in a sense for like being a home birth VBAC. I'm very happy with how it went. You know, you guys were very nice to me. You guys encouraged me and made me feel like I was doing really good. So yeah, very happy with my birth.

And the only thing I did try to avoid the hospital because of how bad I tore. It progressed so fast because I think my body was so weak and I tore literally right up to there. It was very close. So it's kind of like you can't really do much when it's like the tear is right there. They think something was inflamed in the uterus or the vaginal canal, but they can't prove it, right? They're just like, we think. But it was positive for a UTI so I got infected pretty bad where they were even worried. It got into my bloodstream.

And so, I had even the pastors come and anoint me with oil because it was just like, you're just like desperate. You're like, man, I tried to avoid the hospital. So my postpartum was a little bit rough. I had to do 18 rounds of antibiotics again. I got really sick. And, yeah, my postpartum was really, really hard. I don't get much sleep, but I get to be home with my baby and not in a hospital.

And it's just, it really puts it into perspective because you take it for granted when you're healthy and you're like, "Ugh, I have to get up at night. Oh, he's not getting up at night." And then when you're like truly sick and like you're in the hospital and they're like, "Hey, it might be in your blood," and you're kind of like fighting for your life.

Natalie: Yeah. I think that's the beauty of the interventions that are available to us now that we do have other options when the natural options, the ones that God has naturally provided us, are just not able to help us in the way that we need help. It is, it's not always evil to have certain interventions, but I think there is a level of wisdom that's involved with opting and choosing certain interventions.

And I think that's a thread of your story too, is that all throughout, especially this last birth, you were presented with so many different options and choices and just chose to pray and stay close to the Lord for his wisdom and his guidance to make the decisions for this, and then to come away with it even though it was not the easiest birth and recovery, especially the recovery. But to just have an attitude of gratitude and gratefulness and thankfulness to the Lord for the things that he did do.

That's the hardest part about preparing for and actually giving birth, is that you can be prepared with all the things in the world, be doing all the things in the world, and still come away with a C-section for things out of your control. And then in the other vein, you can do hardly any of the right things or none of the right things and things go really smoothly. And so it's not that we're tied to feeling like I have to be perfect in the preparation in order for this birth to go the way I want it to, but having a level of faithful stewardship that you took it upon yourself to take care of your body and eating, exercise, chiropractic care, resting, just all the things because it is a full picture thing that you're doing when you're nourishing your body.

And the Lord calls us to honor him and to trust him and love him with our heart, soul, mind, and strength. So it's everything. It's all the things. It's not just one area that we get to honor and love him. But yeah, so it's beautiful to just see how the Lord took your stewardship of the things that he had given you, the body that he's given you, the circumstances he had placed you under, and all the things to then have a very beautiful redeeming birth.

That, again, didn't go exactly perfectly either, but there was still so much joy in the story that the Lord was writing for you, not because it went perfectly, but because he was present and his presence was so tangible in that birth, Veronica. Like it, it was just such a beautiful worshipful experience. And that's really the end goal, right? Is to have the Lord be present in that experience for us, to know him and love him and experience him more deeply than we did before. And I can personally even say that was my experience from your birth. I came away from that birth praising the Lord and thanking him and giving him glory for what he had done through your story.

Veronica: Mm-hmm. It was a very peaceful birth, which is like, I prayed so hard for, and I got, I got to have it. He taught me to let go, right? Because with the first birth, I was just a little bit like, I'm in control. And it's like it all went opposite. It all went opposite of what I was like planning to do, where I'm like, well, I'm gonna give it to God. And I did that with so many things, and I feel like it just, it turned out better than I even imagined because God was able to carry out what was needed for my birth.

I enjoyed having you there and I'm not a very feely person.

Natalie: It's not that a doula is only good for somebody who's all about like feelings and all the things, but that as a doula, I get to morph into what you need. People sometimes will ask me like, what kind of doula are you? And I'm like, whatever kind of doula you need. Not that I'm like disingenuous or like I'm different, but there's a certain level of needs that each mama requires and the encouragement she's needing or if she needs more information just to make decisions, which that was not where you were at. Like you were low maintenance, especially in that way.

But yeah, God did not design us to do this alone. He designed us for community. And I say it all the time and that's, I think the beauty of the birth experience is that the Lord allows us to walk alongside other people as we navigate that and that others get to be blessed and to pour love on you as you're going through it.

I think I might have even told you like, it is not called labor for nothing. Like it is truly labor, but it is so rewarding and to be able to encourage you in that is a beautiful thing that the Lord allows us to do. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing your stories. Just the differences in those experiences. So super excited to have you come on and share that and just so thankful for you.

Veronica: Thank you for being a part of my experience. I feel like I was able to let go of a lot.

Natalie: Yes. It was truly my pleasure.

Veronica: Thank you for having me.

Natalie Portman